Reminds me of Sunday breakfasts on the sandy beach in sunny Cebu.

Oh my god. I died today. So zombie-fied. I didn't know a full day of lectures could be so potentially draining. Note to self:

a) Sleep early on Monday nights
b) Sleep early every night
c) Sleep on the bus instead of stoning
d) Try brown gravy instead of curry gravy on my rice

Urgh the next two weeks are going to suck (my soul). I go to school trying to psyche myself into going to school with the purpose of learning, but it always fails. I go to school, just to want to go back home again. I'm so drained I find great difficulty in doing anything remotely productive when I get home. And I have heaps of things to study. I want weekends, and week-beginings too. I want holidays. I want Banana Pancakes.

'Something To Sleep To'
Okay the video sucks and the live version's not as good but it's a good song altogether. Anything Michelle Branch is good.

Definitely, maybe.

Argh it's nearing the end of April already, which always means I'm bound to suffer a financial crisis, I'll exceed the limit for free sms-es at 600 and I'll have to use my other phone which is like a historical artefact from the 'Development of the Modern Handphone.' section in science textbooks 50 years from now. Oh, and another month down before the dreaded A's. I'm not eagerly anticipating the third quarter of the year at all. Okay maybe the only good thing about that time of the year is that it'll be hot and sunny and I'll have more time to go fwimming. I is missing fwimming.

I hate school. I detest getting up in the mornings and getting ready for school. Because how my day goes, is determined by how easy it was for me to drag myself out of bed. This week was relatively alright, given that I didn't have to get up at 540 in the morning to take 154. I figured I'd give myself more rest so I wouldn't prolong the recovery stage. Yes, I am almost free of any form of sickness (except sickness from school bleah)

Thank god we had Sport's Day on Wednesday and it was like a half-day. Even so, I spent most of it doing my Bio Practical. I think the J1s around me would think me the ultimate nerdeh chick. Rushed out of school, even before the whole school was officially dismissed. Me Janice Nicole Gen went to get tics for Definitely, Maybe at the Cathay. Linyi made it just in time for the movie. It was a good movie, though I wouldn't say as good as P.S I Love You. I loved the opening credits of the movie. When the movie ended, Amanda joined us for sushi buffet at the basement. Then we went shopping for Gen's mummy's birthday present. Then after that Janice and Linyi left and we went to Heeren to look for our backpacks. I finally found a shop that stocks backpacks. I blew 80 bucks on it and I didn't even use my own money :| Took the bus home with Nicky cause she was going to Dempsey. And that was mid-week R&R.

Today Chemistry Civics was cancelled so we were hoping that PE would be cancelled. But Mr Chua would be back from his basketball match by our PE period which is at the freaking 4:30 to 5:30 slot every Friday omgz. Nicole's the best. She saw Mr Chua walking past the cafe and ran up to him to ask him. He said that we didn't have to have PE on one condition: The whole class goes for the basketball match at Aljunied (omg how do you even spell the name of that place in the Far East of Singapore?). So in the end guess how many people went. A total of 8 girls out of 28 people in my class. But the game wasn't as boring as I thought it'd be. I think it's very cool when the players fall and skid across the court.

Went to Linyi's crib to chill-out for a bit. We were playing our new favourite game, the one Nicole came up with during the three hour break we had on Thursday. 'Who has the most kissable lips?' or 'Who tells lies the most?' or 'Who will be the first to get divorced?" Questions like that. A change from our usual game of suan-ing Linyi until she dies. Or our lesbian games. We're just really bored people who desperately need to escape from the boring go-school-do-tutorials-study-for-test rigor. Bleahhhh.

This week was HAPPEE BURFDAE CHENG BEEETCH! :D YAY I WAS THE THIRD PERSON TO WISH YOU! Bitch if you're reading this maybe you should put my real name? As in 'Steffie'. Cause I wouldn't be recognised if you just put "bitch" (:

The Little Things

Ohmygawd I feel like ranting today. I'm in a whiny mood. I've spent my entire weekend at home ( Except for lunch buffet at the Tapas Tree at Changi Village omg so far away), and I feel like I've accomplished nothing, even though I spent like hours on doing stupid Math problems I can't solve and studying for the Chem test on Monday, of which I still haven't completed. Super unproductive. It's like I don't even feel like studying and I get a turn-off everytime I look at my notes scattered all over my desk. There's so many things to do, but it takes me ages just to get the pungsai work done.

I wish I could wish myself away. I wish I could trade lives with somebody else, just for the heck of it. I wish I could set up a restaurant or a small eatery. I wish I didn't have to study so hard, and all I had to do was to wish for good grades and I'd get them. I've uttered the sentence "I wish I could be.." so many times in the past seventeen years, maybe it's time to stop wishing what could be. Maybe it's time to start acting on what will be.

I can't wait to get better, so I won't have to spend more than 24 hours left alone at home with ample time to sulk and ponder. I can't wait to go back for choir, I miss it horribly. But I can't even stand the sound of my voice I sound like a man with a blocked nose. I think the reason why I'm so crappy is cause I haven't run in a week. Yes, 1 week = 7 days = 6 nights = 168 hours = 10,080 minutes = 604,800 seconds. Endorphins are my happy pills. And soft gummies too. We love Katjes gummies! I bought Raspberry Hearts to share with the girls. I think we all need some happy pills. Amanda Linyi Gen and I are sick-o. Oh dear oh dear.

I think I'm going to buy Colbie Caillat's album, she's pretty amazing. Female artistes who write their own songs kick ass.

So lonely inside, so busy out there. And all you wanted was somebody who cared.

this void

Caught a nasty bout of nasal-pharynx-itis on Tuesday morning. Then I went into self-denial the whole of Tuesday, kept telling myself I wasn't sick. Later during the day the back of my nose started to hurt a lot, and since I'm rarely taken ill and have never experienced such symptoms before, I went to the Doc's the same night. So I was sick.

Took a day off from college on Wednesday, thank god for SMS-es or I would have died from solitude. Thursday back at school, met Lin Yi's dad for tauhuay, he's a funny chap, although there was a language barrier and I could only understand half the things they were talking about and could comprehend what I could understood half the speed. We watched "October Sky" during GP and it's one insipring film that'll leave you exclaiming 'Prodigenous!' as soon as Homer Hickam's dad launches the Rocket Boys' last rocket.

Friday was such a long long long day. I hate Thursdays and Fridays. Went to watch touch rugby at Yio Chu Kang Stadium after school, it was really quite interesting! Although it hurt to talk lest even shout, I couldn't resist cheering and shouting the names of the touch ruggers. Anyway I'm glad at least I got a chance to watch Gen Gen play and be on the first team for the second last game of her JC life :D There was also some off-field reprimanding whenever we missed a try, courtesy of Nicole Lim hahahaha.

I hate being sick. Urgh I can't stop bitching about it. I hate being not able to sing (I've missed two rehearsals already damn.) I hate not being able to run (the last time I ran was last Sunday urgh.) I can't even stand the way I sound when I talk to people. If this goes on for more than two weeks I will sink into depression I swear. Being not able to do a lot of things, led me to think about some things I haven't done in a long time. Swimming is a rarity nowadays, there's almost no time to do even a few laps. I haven't touched the piano in eons, and I miss how those Sonatas used to reverberate through my small apartment, and I'd use the 'silencer' pedal so that fellow inhabitants of Block 1P wouldn't hear what I used to think was noise pollution. Can I be rid of the miseries of education just so I can live life the way I want it to be?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby,
picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window,
wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie,
writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working,
darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby,
died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie,
wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

They're everywhere, cause everybody's a lonely somebody.

Hey B

They say leopards don't ever change their spots, but I beg to differ. Sometimes I surprise myself, things I know I wouldn't have done 3 or 4 years ago, just come naturally to me now. I guess I like treating people the same way they'd treat me. The only thing constant is change itself afterall.

Got PW results today :D Such a pleasant and unexpected surprise, I got a B. To me, and my group members, a year ago, the prospect of even attaining a C was bleak. When Miss Ong said there weren't any Ds or Es in our class, my heart skipped a beat. Heaviness inside was alleviated instantaneously, with newfound hope that there was a possibility that I might get a B. I just think my group is really really lucky, and we shouldn't lament and grieve over getting a C. My group was the most demoralised, slackest group, well-known for producing slip-shot work. Gosh. I really can't belive we did alright in the end. I vaguely remember Fahrun telling us he'd get an E and won't give a shit. Well, he got a B too.

Went to Island Creamery again the second time this week with Nicky Linyi and Janice. Gen had training and Amanda had to do ushering for Life Con. I think Linyi and Janice needed a Mudpie badly :D Island Creamery is just the best place on earth. My happy place.

This week's really busy. School's a real bore, I'm easily amused by the smallest things. Like (The-Knees) falling off the bench in the cafe, and Nicole and I were laughing too hard to pull her up. Funny shit. We were all high from a dosage of endorphins after doing our 2.4 run. I got a B. Thursday nights and Friday nights are the crappiest nights cause it's nearing the weekend. The nights get shorter, and the days grow longer.

Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breathe
I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Pass me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Joie de Vivre

"Because for us, the joy of living ... Is in singing."

Listening to the recordings of this evening's concert, I feel this longing to go back to St Margaret's, this longing to be a part of this amazing group of kids that is St Margaret's Choir. Might not be so fantastic for some, but we're all biased when it comes to things we're fond of.

I wanna drown myself in their music forever, all lovely harmonies and melodies, pleasantries to the ear. Such lovely things. I love how carefree they are, I love their passion, I love their youth (Hah! Like I'm so old). Be humbled by what may seem to be the most insignificant beings, but once they open their mouths, they have my respect and admiration. Today Chans and I teared again. Especially backstage, it was such a crazy sight, there were girls crying and hugging, cause it was the last the Sec Fours were performing. Jolted me back to 2006 once again.

There is a place I call my own
Where I can stand by the sea,
And look beyond the things I've known,
And dream that I might be free.
Like the bird above the trees
Gliding gently on the breeze,
I wish that all my life I'd be
Without a care and flying free.

But life is not a distant sky
Without a cloud, without rain.
And I can never hope that I
Can travel on without pain

Time goes swiftly on its way,
All too soon we've lost today.
I cannot wait for skies of blue
Or dream so long that life is through.

So life's a song that I must sing,
A gift of love I must share .
And when I see the joy it brings,
My spirits soar through the air.
Like that bird up in the sky ,
Life has taught me how to fly.
For now I know what I can be
And now my heart is flying free.

So aptly how they represent the very music they make.

/edit

Ooh after the concert had desserts with Clara, Serene and Chanxi at Menotti. They had desserts going at half-price from 10pm onwards :D Nothing like a sweet treat to end such a lovely evening. Thanks to Clara for the flowers, and Serene for the desserts! :D //edit

This week's yet another tiring week.
But apparently not for some.
We had our own Mid-Week R&R at Sakae Sushi on Wednesday with Chans Kenny Wei Liang Tasia and Chinyan :D I think we consumed like 67 plates in total, and that's a rough estimate.

I love Zaru Soba hokay.
Kenny angry cause he no have cute chopstick ears.